Archive for the ‘Authors Speak’ Category

Variations on a Dream

July 28, 2010

   */RonGasparri\* Speaks/*

If ever there was a man who has done so much and yet not enough, it would be   */RonGasparri\*. While many others would be happy to just rest themselves on their past accomplishments, Ron would say he has barely just begun – only because so much still remains unfinished.

During the years of the first Gulf War, it quickly became apparent to Ron’s superiors that he was no ordinary jarhead. He was quickly (and appropriately) inducted into the world of military intelligence and soon after began his association with the various lodges and fraternal orders — this did , of course, provide certain advantages for him professionally. Within a few short years, Ron found himself wearing the apron of a 32° Scottish Rite Freemason.

He has also been awarded various, respected positions in other fraternal groups and lodges including being:

– Elected Monarch of the Effendi Grotto
– Knighted by Knights of Pythias
– Knighted by Priory of Knights Templar

After all this, Ron’s true passion for the mysterious and occult dominated any other desire (other than being a good father), and he dove into the somewhat obscure arenas of Enochian and Ogdoadic Magicks. Eastern Indian and Tibetan practices and disciplines have also found a home in Ron’s life.


He now continues his path by stepping up and sharing a small piece of himself with us today.


 Variations on a Dream

My heart is racing, the sweat runs down my face and the fear I feel inside is overwhelming. They are coming for me. They’re going to find me and I am going to go to some god-forbidden jail or receive some type of sadistic punishment that enslaves my mind and arrests my development. I need to keep moving and I do. Lockers line both sides of the hallways. The breaks between the rows of lockers are filled with doors that lead to classrooms of various sizes. Some are exits, and I need an exit… now. Past another row, another door, and then a backlit exit-sign appears, but I instinctively know that this door leads to the auditorium.

I have no time to second-guess myself—I see that the two plain clothed security personnel are gaining on me. This time, one of the teachers is with them and he knows exactly who I am. He’s the one that discovered my true age and identity. He has to be the one; he was one of my teachers when I was here the first time. In the door I go, and—what the fuck is this? It’s a slide, an inflatable slide that leads right out to the front of the building. It looks like a huge version of those emergency slides that are used by aircraft after they make emergency landings, except this one is really wide, sectioned into ten or so rows and it’s black with white stitching. This doesn’t seem normal, but it is something I must navigate if I am to save my life and be free again.

Now, I just need to get to the top of the slide, slide down it, and freedom shall be mine. I run down the center row, between two large areas of movie-theater style chairs aimed at the stage, arranged in the typical descending fashion. If this weren’t a high school auditorium, it would be a very posh theater. There are about five stairs that flank both sides of the stage and just as I decide to go up the left side’s stairs, I hear the doors open behind and above me—they enter and yell “Stop!” Yeah, right. Why would I stop for someone who doesn’t have my best interests in mind? Why would I listen to any other man, anyway? I run to the very top of the immense slide, throw my books down first (I don’t want them to slow my descent) and down I go. It feels like the “Moon Room” inflatable amusement area those neighborhood churches and social organizations would set-up during fund raising events. I’m down, and quickly out of the building.

Why do I not feel free? Where is that sense of relief I expected? Why am I not elated? I see a yellow school bus pull up just in front of the gymnasium complex, and I notice that my friends are getting on, well, the guys, anyway and they are all dressed in their football uniforms. A rear bus window opens and a close friend yells, “Ron. Come on, Man. You’re gonna be late!” I am going to be late and I may very well miss the game, too. In fact, now that the administrators know who I am, I may never get to finish the football season. Now there are two things I will not finish and the feeling of doom overwhelms me, but I have to try.

As I run along the sidewalk, the bus pulls away from the entrance and as I take another fast stride, I find myself between two parallel bars, both are greased beyond belief and there is nothing beneath me. I have no idea where or why this obstacle appeared before me, but it did and now the real fear sets-in. Whoever did this to me knows that ever since the fall, I have had a paralyzing fear of heights and of falling again. I navigate the parallel bars and jump off them, back on to the sidewalk. I realize that these bars had replaced a bridge that used to be located in the same area. The bus is only about a half of a city block ahead of me and I have to get on it.

Suddenly, I awaken to the sound of the night and the sound that my sweat makes when it rolls down the side of my head.


There are turning points in everyone’s lives. There are major decisions that we make when we are too young to know anything about future repercussions, both personal and intra-personal. I made a decision when I was sixteen and that decision has affected every facet of my life since. Some say that it has all worked out well and that things just took a little longer to “gel” for me because of it. Bullshit. I know the truth. That decision still haunts me to this day and impacts me still. Nothing has worked out the way I wanted things to work out because of this decision. Sure, there is an element of shame, of guilt, but the real feelings underlying that fateful decision are regret and anger. I regret dropping out of high school to join the Marine Corps. I am angry that nobody tried to talk to me about the unlimited field of other options that were accessible and tangible. The excuse I heard was, “We could have told you nothing that would have changed your mind,” but I know that’s a bunch of crap.

Over time, I have come to terms with myself and this decision, but apparently not completely. Over time, I have forgiven myself and have been able to allow myself to be proud of being a Marine, but maybe that’s bullshit too. All combat Marines live with a burden unlike any other and we generally don’t do well once we’re outside the Marine Corps environment. Had I not panicked back then when my girlfriend informed me that she was pregnant, I would have been on the road I am on now, only ten years ago, and that means more than you can imagine. The reasons are selfish ones and I get that, too. All I needed and wanted was someone to tell me that waiting 24 hours before making a major decision really is OK, that answers sometimes don’t come immediately, and that impulsive action works only about 10% of the time.

So, tonight when I sleep again, I wonder if the “High School Principal” of my former high school will try to find out why, at my age and with my college degrees, I am still trying to pass myself off as a high school student (and trying to get a diploma I obviously don’t need). I wonder if I will ever catch the school bus that used to drive the football team to its games and get to play another varsity year of high school football again. I wonder if having graduated high school means as much to my former classmates as it would have meant to me. I wonder if, when I make my next major decision in life, I will allow myself 24 hours to think: just to make sure I have explored other options. I do know one thing: I was too young to make such an important decision as to drop out of high school so I could provide for my child. This was a decision made too fast.

You can learn more about Ron and yourself in the following places:

MSI – Modern Scientific Illuminism

MSI Facebook




Pete Madstone Speaks (Again)

July 1, 2010

This story came about from a complete failure of subject-agenda. A friend and co-conspirator (blogger), Marian Youngblood of Siderealview’s Blog invited me to do a bio of sorts for her to feature on the same blog, and requested I do a continuation of “A Visit With a Sirian.” This sounded like a wonderful idea to me, and so I agreed. Stories such as this take little effort for me, for I subscribe to the maxim that “An Idea is
One Whose Time has Come,” and so assumed the time had come. While I had more to say regarding my experiences with “the Sirian”, I was struggling with much in the technical aspects of execution – or composition. I was unable to compose this story.

Meanwhile, something else, or someone else, was pulling at my attention, insistently even. This little friend of mine was relentless in his need for communing with me, and wanted me to share a story that included him. I didn’t know this was to be the story I would share with Marian and her audience – I only knew that I must write this story – the one you
will be reading today.

Meanwhile, I questioned the Sirian regarding the “block” that I was experiencing with his story, and in a serious and austere way and winking at the same time, he told me, “This is not the time….” 

And so – I would like to introduce you to A-Bar in

 A Land That Time Forgot
Pete Madstone 

Today, I find myself living in the southwest of France in a place I could have never dreamed of. It abounds with life — birds, animals, insects and woodlands. There are more trees than people, and many of the inhabitants of these savage lands live just outside the arena of the physical world that we are so familiar with. In spite of the typical challenges that come with life itself wherever any of us might live, I would have to say this place is simply “exotic”. 

So, let’s begin with Webster’s defining the word exotic – 

exotic1 : introduced from another country : not native to the place where found <exotic plants>
2 archaic : foreign, alien
3 : strikingly, excitingly, or mysteriously different or unusual
4 : of or relating to striptease 

Lets take this step by step – 

definition 1. With this, it seems that I am the exotic one here, since I was “introduced” here from America – a member of a not yet extinct variety of humanity’s transitional sub-species – the evolutionary inclusionist. 

definition 2. Foreign, yes — alien, likely. So this would be me, again. I am foreign and alien to this place (or at least its people), since I come from another with different ways — but from my perspective, this place is what is foreign and alien, so all things can, indeed, be seen in more than one way. 

definition 3. Okay — now we’re talking, and not about the “famous” french cuisine (though the food certainly fits with this one, as well). Let me repeat this definition — strikingly, excitingly, or mysteriously different or unusual. If I apply this definition to this place, I would have to say that I couldn’t say it any better — it describes perfectly the environment that surrounds me. Because I cannot say things as simply as Mr. Webster, I will devote much more time and effort to describe this place that is far from south Santa Monica, the place where I cut my teeth on a surfboard. But first… 

definition 4.  This one is pretty much irrelevant, since the kind of place you might find “exotic” dancers would be in the nearest city  –  which for me
would be a French city called Bordeaux, and like all French cities, this one is terribly intimidating. Along the same note, I will mention that it is not unusual for the french female to tan her chest freely on our summer
beaches just as the males do – and so these beaches could certainly be considered “exotic” in this context, but I don’t live on the beach. 

I would now discuss just what is strikingly, excitingly, or mysteriously different or unusual (re: definition 3) about this place, for this is what I really have to share with you. It is not that what I will be discussing was never available to me in the variety of other places I have lived, it is just that never have these certain exotic flavors been so apparent to me — so evident, tangible or real. Maybe it is me who has changed, but I would have to surmise that it is my environment that has changed me — this exotic environment. 

I live on a half-acre of land 500 meters (3 “city” blocks) from a medieval village in, as I said, the southwest of France. The road to my house is unpaved and few cars pass by on their way to some scattered homes beyond my own. Splitting off this small road by the gate to my land is an entrance to an old path which is used by the occasional equestrian, hiker or nearby resident of the village on an evening stroll. A couple of winters ago, I was walking this path more than anyone, for I had made a discovery that was reliant upon one condition for this peculiarity, or phenomenon, to be witnessed most easily — I had to be present at a certain place accessed by this path at the time of the “crack between the worlds,” the quarter-hour just before and just after sunset. 

Into the land that time forgot...

So it was out my gate just about every evening, and down this path around 500 meters in the opposite direction from the village into a little tree-lined pasture. On the path were two old oak trees that became a vortex, or portal of sorts for me, for every time I walked past these two trees, everything became silent — there was a definite shift. Far away traffic, birds, insects, and the general buzz of life all stopped here. It didn’t take me long to realize that I was passing into a different time, and a different place — into a land that time forgot. 

There, at the far end of this grassy field where three hedgerows join is a small copse closing in an otherwise invisible corner of the field. Directly at the “entrance” of this little secluded corner is an old water well — a well covered and overgrown by years of non-use and neglect. This was certainly a forgotten place. 

The first few times I had gone to this place, I would feel eyes upon me — many, many eyes from behind and in the trees and branches of overgrowth surrounding me — always blinking off and on, twinkling like bright little stars in a woods bereft of foliage. There was something here, and I certainly felt right at home. It didn’t take me long to begin doing sunset rituals of communion wand-less, and without any of the typical tools, talismans or regalia of the trade. There was certainly a bustle in these hedgerows, and well before the time of the May Queen. 

My simple but raw ceremonies became a standard for me, weather permitting. Upon arriving, I would stop to take in the energy and air of this ancient place, and center myself in the open space defined by the leafless trees. Then, I began walking my circles, and defining my pentagrams, hexagrams and sphere of influence/reality. Salutations would be done, followed by invocations of the cardinal’s overseers. Then, simply stillness and release. It wasn’t a few days before I began sitting at the mouth of the old well after performing my ritual. I just wanted to just be with the land and its wild life, curious about the abundance of those shy and reluctant, but always blinking eyes. From the first time I sat at the opening of this well, I could sense the presence of our local Undines working in the watery realms directly below me — however, these were not the ones with the eyes in the woods. 

These others , I found quickly, were of the earth realm, beings who never ventured into the light of day unless absolutely necessary (invoked), or simply overwhelmed with curiosity or craftiness — these were the Gnomes, working the same caverns below me that the Undines travelled. These caverns and tunnels are abundant in this region of France, with many of them open to the surface, and all of them are crystalline in some way. All these caverns are paradise to those who secretly dwell in them. 

"No, it's not a hat -- it's my head!"

So it was at some point just after the winter equinox that I met this local group of Gnomes — builders they are, if you don’t already know this, and here I was getting ready to build a house. Every evening I was there, they would begin to crowd around me, these little Gnomes. Small they may be, but certainly strong and stout they are, for they are rock workers. Masons they are, Stonemasons, the prototypical Freemasons, and the earth they work is their temple. 

So, I decided to ask for one of these earth-dwellers to help me with the building of my house, which had been at a standstill for 2 years. I specifically stated my requirements (I thought) that were as follows — The house needed to be done in 1 year, and I needed funds, materials, support from friends as yet unmade with the actual physical work, plus support from one of the Gnomes who was considered highly skilled at this work they did so well. Of course, it slipped my mind that these beings were best at rock-work, and other than the rock foundation, the house was to be of wood frame/strawbale construction — but Gnomes are builders, and the best in the world, so why would this matter? 

One of the Gnomes did come for me, knowing it wouldn’t be a full-time job. He would only come around when I was actually working, and besides the other events he was to oversee, he still had his own personal time, and life. He was an A-BAR — this is the title of a Master Rocker, and his name was “Ephrana -yam.” He prefered to be called A-bar, or simply Eff. A year passed as agreed, and the rock foundation was done. So what of the house? Well, it was far from finished, but at least I did have a floor to build the house upon. Apparently, one year was not enough time for me to build a house, even when partnered with a specialist in rock-work. I still had wood frames to bring up, roofing to do, and everything else up to and past the kitchen sink. 

Of course, A-bar did exactly as he understood — it was I who was somehow vague or a little unfocused/misdirected in my desires. So for my little Gnome friend, a year is what it took to complete his part of the job– a year for the foundation. Of course the funding did arrive to for the project within that time from an unexpected place, and I could not have continued without that, anyway. So Eff did do his job, as requested, and did it to the Tee. 

So what of this exotic nature of the place that I call home (for now)? There is something about it that is so pure, untouched — unqualified even. In the history of man, very little has been done to corrupt, or even direct the energy here, and so it can be a little difficult to work with. It is very still and unmoving, and it is used to being still — it is an uncertain energy. It is tentative, having had little experience with outside direction or foreign influence. But we can both learn — both me and this energy. Some have said the energy is flat here, but to me, its potential is remarkable, for it has been unused for millenia, maybe since the beginning of time. 

I still have to wonder, though – is this a place that time forgot, or just a place that man forgot?

Nick Myers Speaks

June 6, 2010

When I first encountered Nick Myers, I was cruising the web for interesting things, people, blogs, etc., and I came across this site called Atomic Potential (Liberated Self). I seem to remember, in a short description found on a back-page, that the writer of this Blog, Nick, desired most deeply to make a masterful cup of tea. Now this caught my attention, being I was raised by an English mother, but I soon realized Nick was speaking of something much deeper. It was evident that he was coming from directions eastward (and inward) and was dwelling in an arena of non-duality, non-identity, non-self, non-sense and non-such (most simply described as a beautiful “place” to be). Nick responded to my invite in the typical fashion of many writers when asked to do a bio.

To look objectively at your path and what helped create what you have become is not an easy thing. To speak of your passion is one thing, but to speak of your self has most of us wondering where to begin. “What could be so interesting about me?” “Why would anyone be entertained or stimulated by such an ordinary thing called my life?” No question could be harder to one who seeks the nameless, but in looking at his past, Nick realized how remarkable the ordinary can be, and how gifts that are given can also be shared. This is his story….

When I was initially asked to do a biography, I had thought of the many things in my past that I would be able to talk about but none of them seemed out of the ordinary. I actually don’t really remember a lot of my childhood, but looking deeper into it, from where I am now, I realize that there is absolutely no other way I could have become other than what I am. As a little guy, I was quite the curious fellow. I was always getting into mischief with friends (not the bad kind, not the good kind, just the kind). I do remember having a broad imagination and that I could play for hours outdoors until the soles of my feet were black from asphalt and the sun went down. I remember hearing the pleasant voice of my mother calling me back home.

I was unstoppable at this young age, climbing trees, watching the world from my lofty perch, and just taking in the gentle breeze for hours. There was always this re-occurring theme of wind or water in my life, as I was always playing in nature and the wind was at my disposal — whether it was at home in a tree, or at the local park that was an easy walking-distance away. I couldn’t get away from the tranquility that surrounded me. I had taken to tree-climbing with my friend Hrant and we could talk for hours — we shared young-boy’s insights, probably goofy ones at best, but you know, sometimes words of the innocent tend to ring more true than words we use after we’ve grown.

I was entering a very important part of my life, for I had found religion. A friend had taken me to his church (Christian) and I was eating it up, taking in all that was being said to be truth. After all, what can we do at this ripe, young and innocent age but listen to our superiors? The Christian faith is a beautiful faith to have, so for awhile I sought refuge in it. It was important in my growth that I experienced it as I transitioned into high school for it gave me something to stand upon.

In high school there are two distinct feelings that come to mind, “oblivious” and “Buddhism.” I was oblivious because not only did I not see what was going on around me at the time — there is surprisingly a lot of drug and alcohol use in high school which I was ignorant of — but I was also ignorant to the mass amount of separation between people. There was separation everywhere. This attitude seems to originate in those years that that we begin to develop “the High School teen identity.” Now, I wasn’t exactly a part of any one group – it seemed that I could mingle with almost any group I wanted (like I said, I was ignorant to certain trends).

In regards to Buddhism, I wasn’t yet a part of that religion, but there was a strange pull to it for some reason. I remember thinking about how it would be just to be a monk. Funny that – I think this idea originated because I had one English teacher in particular that was really willing to stretch our brains. She is the one who introduced me to the old book called “Siddhartha.”

This kind of stuff intrigued me, so much so that I started reading more and more about Christian spirituality. I started learning of angels and demons, and sin. I even had a book on spiritual warfare which I still have. I was really beginning to grow inwardly, and was experiencing dreams which I could not understand at the time. My faith in Christianity continued to grow. (I realized later that it was this growth that would push me further, and allow me to transcend what it was that I was learning at the time).

In entering college, I opened up to all of the possibilities of education and the possibilities of things outside of what everyone was telling me to believe. I enrolled in a Religious Philosophy class and was suddenly exposed to the many different religions of the world. This would rock my world and shook all that I called my foundation, yet I still remained carefree. All through my college life, with all the stress and anxieties of it, there was a kind of stillness within me that I couldn’t quite comprehend (frankly, I still can’t). It’s such a mystery to me, but while pursuing a business major, I sought philosophy as my refuge – specifically religious philosophy. I had started with Christianity, then went to Buddhism, which later gave way to Hinduism and Sufism as well.

I slowly became more open to the ways of the eastern mystics near the end of my college career. A turning point in my life came with my reading Paulo Coelho’s, “The Alchemist.” It opened my heart and I was able to take in what his words were implying, deeply – his message went down into my whole being. Around this time I was introduced to Advaita through Nisargardatta Maharaj and this allowed the questions of “who” or “what” I am to flourish within me, and this “concept” really began to take seed and grow. As I continued to study and read, the body lived a rather typical college person’s life, but inwardly there was (and still is) a revolution happening, a universal happening.

I soon learned the lesson of detachment, for in one class I was presented with the late Christian Mystic Meister Eckhart teachings which were about detachment, and what it meant to cling to worldly things. He taught how attachment can only bring about suffering. This also brought to light within me how it is we who do this to ourselves — it is not outside of us but inside where all this takes place, so my responsibility to self began to grow. Although I began to feel this overwhelming love for the people around me, I was also very distant from “emotional” involvement. I began to realize that the needful attachment to emotion wasn’t necessary to see that love and compassion pervaded everything, but even through this pervasion, it all existed through non-action. I realized that no matter what this growing body was doing, it wasn’t really doing anything at all — that things were working out as they should at every moment. I did feel empty and distant from others, but also had a sense of well being and
a very real compassion towards others.

I began to react less and less to things others would do or say to me, but I was also presented with opportunities for continued growth and healing of things I had repressed for so long – things would continue to bubble up.

These were the trials for me in terms of relating to others (in regards to a love life). By the end of the semester I was deeply rooted in Advaita, but then I discovered Osho and Anthony de Mello, both “mystics” (for lack of a better word) who showed me so much more about myself. My mind couldn’t withstand it, and it was left to only grow outward, more towards others. Although the personality still had its quirks (and it still does — that’s what makes the personal so beautiful) there was still this growing inner silence, peacefulness, and gratitude.

I was releasing my old views of Christianity and what God is and expanded into what is a collective whole. I realized that there is no separation between what we are and what we see as  God/Awareness/Universal Consciousness, each of which is a different word for the same timeless, indescribable thing. However in terms of chronological and psychological time, the journey seemed to take up the whole of the 23 years of my life. Paradoxically, it all manifested spontaneously and perfectly, and at the exact moment that it was suppose to.

Finally, I come to rest between Zen (the connection between who, or what you and I are) and the seemingly material world. I would have to say that Zen and the Tao are the same, and that whatever is used to describe this Tao is not the true Tao (or Zen). It is but rather just a pointer, an indicator of the truth. I will continue to go on pointing at this Tao, but I can never to know it with my intellect. This place I rest is what the Chinese refer to as “Wu-Wei” — the serene reflection. When there is no ripple of thought in the mind, the reflection on this pond reflects a perfect and clear reality. If I stir it up as a storm does, it becomes chaotic, so I stay without word as much as possible. I have learned that to not impose personal thought on reality allows me to see reality for what it is, clearly.

And so, I stay in this gap in silence, and I stay in this gap for guidance. I watch my breath as it guides me to this place — this place of inner silence.

I have become a spiritual being having a human experience.

To spend more time with Nick, visit him at his website:

Atomic Potential

Marian Youngblood Speaks

April 8, 2010

I first encountered Marian through her website Siderealview’s Blog. I was impressed with her “stellar perspective” on our environment, our times and the coming times as predicted by the Mayan Calendar. Her gentle and practical approach (sans catastrophe, gloom and doom, and reactionary fear-based rhetoric) is refreshing and enlightening. I soon found out how many different venues Marian has used to express herself, and how prolific a writer she is. Marian has a lot to say, and a lot to share, so be sure to click on the various links we provide for you.

Marian Youngblood

They keep telling us we are the ones we have been waiting for – it’s a Hopi saying that’s getting an airing right now. If I’d been told that as a child, I might have believed it – because one believes everything, as a child.

What is the most amazing thing to me in this experience called life, is that the person I was as a child is still the person I think I am now. Of course now my skin (and apparently other organs, cells, tissues) has recycled itself in multiples of seven times seven years, and more. My formative self has left childhood behind and entered life as an adult.

What is even more surprising to me is that I still feel the same inside as I did, as far as I remember, when I was seven. And at seven, the world is one’s oyster.

In a family surrounded by encouragement and literary example – my father was a self-styled diarist, although he had a ‘real job’ minding other people’s accounts – my sisters and I were constantly reminded of our need to ‘set an example’. My mother mused. She spent endless hours in the garden doing nothing in particular and yet her spirit was tangibly peaceful, and her favorite plants always flourished.

I feel as if I’ve lived several lives, though not in the sense of previous lifetimes. I mean in this same body. I have been blessed with a consecutive series of experiences and memories, each leading me to the next step. They’ve appeared and disappeared as I progressed into subsequent ‘incarnations’. I don’t really think of this as a ‘walk-in’ experience, although that’s not impossible. Rather that I have been given a series of roles to play, each in succession leading me towards another arc in the learning curve. So, although I qualified as a linguist, it was my typing course that led me to become a journalist and my journalism took me from newspapers into television and out into the wider world.

If there had been computers in 1969 when I quit my job in San Francisco (all they wanted me to do was interview Vietnam vets without limbs), I probably would have kept a blog then. As it turned out I had to stop writing for a while; I hit what I can only describe as the Wall. Like many at the time, the Herbal Revolution took me to places no wo/man had gone before and, as we all did, I embraced it with vigor. I do wish I had blogged about it, because, unlike my predecessor on this column (A Visit with a Sirian) who disproved the adage ‘if you remember, you weren’t there,’ I truly have only snatches of memory from that remarkable time. But it changed me and catapulted me into my next incarnation: one I believe I still inhabit.

I spent three years in Northern California after being reborn; living the organic life that so many of us did then, tending a garden, growing-my-own, playing music, being ‘free’. Sure, I kept diaries and journals, but writing was not my foremost occupation. I was tending my soul.

In California in the early ’70s there were always people who taught the latest meditation technique, to practice a silent fast with, to clear and activate your chakras. Everybody who needed to be there WAS there at that time. The world’s greatest musicians, poets, philosophers, gurus and spiritual leaders all passed through. It was a melting pot of those ‘we have been waiting for’. We actually did change the world. It just took another forty years for the effects to filter through.

Soul does indeed need time to mature. Many of the ancient spiritual disciplines talk of growth through several lifetimes; to go back to the drawing board and learn your lessons again.

I did have to return to my old haunts, possibly to relive lessons learned but also to put them into practice in the world of my fore-fathers. It may be genetic, or perhaps the fact that America in the late ’70s and ’80s became a harder place to live – at least on a Green Card. I’d never given up my British citizenship and life in Britain has claimed me for a few years now. After all, I found a place to live a quiet life, grow my veggies, nurture my child, my cats and my chickens in peace, learn the art of photography with my father’s old cameras; all without having to watch out for Immigration or traffic tickets or worse. More than that, my Scots’ past grabbed me. I found I needed family, and people, a heritage that needed me – to broadcast its deep connection and write about it.

The literary world claimed me once again. But more important, those years of nurturing a child, of filling days and nights with another life that takes precedence over one’s own. Those were times of great change: another incarnation.

It is years on, and my son now lives in Northern California. He has his own children and I find the frailest of reasons to visit – all the time.

Finally, after researching, co-founding and releasing a charitable group that brought public awareness to the plight of our most ancient heritage – carved stones and circles – and simultaneously the electromagnetic and astronomical environment in which they stand, I discovered the magic of the blog.

While my writing skills were regularly oiled through publication of stoney newsletters, it was a relief, a blessing to be able to upload them as electrons; to erase the necessity of chopping down more trees and using more postage stamps. The Stones Archives went online.

 I didn’t abandon paper completely, however. I published a small history, wrote innumerable stoney articles for magazines, took a million photographs (digital this time; no longer old SLR beauties) and became a Mac-addict. Just in time for the advent of the internet – and the blog.

My Muse keeps me at it. I wrote my ultimate spiritual novel,  ‘SHASTA: Critical Mass’ in 2008, a NaNoWriMo novel in the month of November last year and a ViNoWriMo in 31 days in January 2010.

While I love my blogs, blogging isn’t as addictive for me as it is for some: there are those who blog daily and get awards for such prolific output. But I find my occasional postings – from crop circles to spiritual insights, to seasonal weather and traditions, and a few other extraneous subjects besides – satisfy my childhood longings, fill those crevices and crannies triggered by my Muse. She allows me to express all those incarnations that brought me to this moment and still leaves me time to ponder other things: gardening, naturally, growing my inner spirit, and my soul’s ‘place’ in these exciting times.

There is truly something about these present times that integrates our past or puts it behind us. Blessed indeed are those young souls who incarnate and choose to enter this New World. They’ve always been the leaders. We oldies may be the ones we have been waiting for, but they – the children – are the ones who will see us through.

©2010 Marian Youngblood

You can find Marian Youngblood in the following places:

Youngblood’s Blog
Siderealview’s Blog

Nathan Scheer Speaks

March 8, 2010

Therapist, counselor, alternative health practitioner, investigative reporter, journalist, healer, versatile music fan, lightworker, blogger, polito-spiritual activist – one thing is certain, all in all, Nathan Scheer is simply a remarkable young man who has made his choices both in the physical and spiritual worlds. He understands his choices not as being wrong or right, but as choices that has made him what he is today. He continues to make those choices with a clear heart and a clear mind.

A Match Consumes The Darkness – A Dark Jedi Gone Good

By: Nathan J Scheer

I was born on March 13, 1985. It was the Week of The Dancers & Dreamers, Pisces III, Density of Innocence, and Chinese Zodiac year of the Ox. All I can say to this is “Philosophical, Miracle Working & Helpful,” and this is what I’ve come to be – but before this came to be, a darker side had to come through to align me with the true aspects of these signs. However, I am more of my higher nature today then I’ve ever been before, but my darker side will be mentioned later.

My life as a spiritual worker began as a child, long before days I remember. My parent had me take a cross into the house they had just bought to banish or remove old energies from within the house that no longer needed to be there. Although the cross may not have had really anything to do with this removal – there was something in the house upstairs and it was told to take up residence in the basement. There this energy stayed and would never come back upstairs again. This is, I believe, my first knowledgeable act of spiritual practice, although I do not remember it. I was told this story by my parents and grandmother, who was the Real Estate Agent selling the house to us. So as it must be, I’ve been on this path ever since I’ve been here just to understand or remember what I already knew to be true in other dimensions. I grew up an only child and in no way can I say that my up bringing was bad. I did more to myself to make my own youth difficult than my parents did, but the older I grew into myself, the more I realized that the choices I made in my past we’re made with a purpose. It was all so that I could better understand others and what situations they are going through now and not judge them for what they think or what they do, only to better guide them when brought to the attraction.

When I first started school, I was quickly bored with most of the classes and I was of course labeled a “Riddlin Child.” Lucky for me, my parents disagreed with the school and denied them the right to medicate me – in which I was certainly blessed! Later I would find out that our schools were given bonuses of $500 a month for each student who took Ritalin. Yucky stuff! I was instead shoved in to Special Education classes, but again, another blessing took place that I was not aware of until several years ago. While I was being placed into the Special Education classes the general use of the Phonics Reading Program was being replaced with the Look-C method, which really made it more difficult for “ordinary” children to learn how to read and it created less desire to learn!

But since I was in these alternative classes, they still taught the Phonics program, and it was there I took reading and writing classes for 8-9 years! This allowed me to pick-up things others we’re usually not aware of, which this led me to books about meditation, Paganism, Wicca, etc. So after, when I was in 7th or 8th grade, I had the advantage of attracting several Pagan and Wiccan practitioners who mentored me in guided meditation, telekinesis, out-of-body experiences, remote viewing and clairvoyance, as well as a lot of general information about whatever their religious path they took was. This would later drive me to learn about herbs, healing, nutrition & Alchemy, although it first began with my trying to find alternative herbs that I could smoke.

Soon I started to see the absolute power of these herbs and I started to buy them when I had spare change. I created a cabinet of herbs that I would later use more prominently through my practice of healing as I learned more about them. My early years of High School was when my peak of Wicca and Pagan teachings came to an end. I had befriended a kid who I was not too fond of in my middle school days. He was also interested in magical workings and soon he came across a site called The Joy of Satan (JoS). The JoS was a traditional Satanism website that had mostly taught the histories of the Annunaki and the ancient knowledge of the ones that came before us.

This exposed me to authors like Zacharia Sitchen (The 12th Planet) and Erich Von Dankein (Chariots of the Gods). The 12th Planet was a classic reference for the JoS website and I found it so riveting I couldn’t put it down. I soon went through Sitchen’s entire chronicle-set and wanted more. While this was taking place I was also very active inside the JoS E-group. Since this site was based upon sacred meditations and psychic abilities I was already somewhat adept from 3-4 years of practical experience in the arts. I was able to answer people’s questions on any subject that came up, and this caught the attention of the High Priestess of this organization.

Soon I started to communicate with the JoS Clergy on a daily basis, answering questions and running the forums on my own time. I was then offered a chance to join their Clergy as a Reverend of Satan at the age of 17 or so. I accepted and was ordained through “Spiritual Humanism”. For 4-5 years I was a part of this organization and I learned more and more about ancient civilizations – ancient Sumer to ancient Egypt and beyond. During this I had also constructed a sister website to the JoS and had made a name for myself as Rev. Darkfang. I was known by my website, which later changed to

I was exposed to several magnificent meditation and Chakra opening exercises that happened to work very well for me until I came to their version of the MerKaBa. They JoS had manipulated this practice into their own works, and I quickly started to notice large energy blocks inside certain energy meridians of my body. I let them know about this and none of them said they had this problem, so I soon wrote it off. Later I found out that a friend that I had attracted through the JoS also had problems with this technique and he was into heavy meditation, too. My trust in the JoS was getting shaky when they started to use mass rituals to kill certain “religious pushers”. They had 2000 to 3000 members in the organization from around the world (aged from 15 to 35 years of age) doing rituals against these people. Specific rituals coordinated at the same time from time zone to time zone around the world were done on holidays such as Walpurgisnacht Night. On one such occasion I had a voice telling me to not participate and it was really hard for me to set up my ritual that night – the voice kept telling me not to join in, but I did.

Soon after these worldwide rituals I logged into the E-group to see how everyone else was doing. Yahoo news postings we’re flooding in about churches burning down by “random” people who were upset at life. Other “random acts of god” were reported, too. A month or two later, two specific individuals that were also targeted were dead. One died in an auto accident and the other from health complications. I was swept with much hatred around a year later, which I will discuss here soon.

Not too long after all this I was expelled from High School and so went to a Technical school to learn computer programming. I met up with who is now a very good friend. He seemed to be the only one that would commune with me at this school, for he was absolutely fascinated with the knowledge that I had, knowledge that he started to research himself.

He soon became a co-author with me at and I soon had full control over the JoS’s main E-group. I was a trusted member of their Clergy but I was very upset how they controlled and censored their information – they would not let outside voices into the group, even those with legitimate worthwhile information. This was the soul reason why I created – to gather good information from all over the place, from every sect of Satanism and beyond. I went past the boundaries of Christianity to Buddhism, and on into new sciences and health. One day I did a post that expressed a genuine concern to a High Priest of the JoS, and this got me quickly cut-off from the forums. I presented my case and the majority of the Clergy defeated me, but I was still a member of this Clergy. The group was changing, and soon they started to slip NSS (Nazi) material into their Dogma and THAT WAS something I had a problem with. After this began, I was gathering classified posts and information from their website so I could blow open this true agenda and present it to the public. I actually ended up going against them and revealing the truth about their organization. It turned out the High Priestess I mentioned before was actually married to the chairman at the time of the Oklahoma NSS board.

Soon after this, the NSS board got a hold of this information from my website (and from another clergy member that exposed them) and they removed this man from the NSS board of directors. What I learned of this organization showed me that they were exploiting the younger member’s advanced meditation skills and expert visualization skills for their own agenda, while totally cutting-off these member’s connections to higher aspects of their minds, and limiting their use of reason through dark magic. You can better say that this organization is the Darkside’s Jedi temple. Although I was always the one that promoted a more peaceful experience through their organization, I was still dredging in black water. The backfire of what I did haunted me for several years because of Karmic balancing – because of my participation in it. But all in all, during my time with the JoS, I had become a vegetarian and was becoming experienced at yoga. There was only one other member at the time that practiced this type of lifestyle, and he was the other Clergy member who exposed the corruption with me when the time came.

Within a year or two of my exposing the JoS, I had the anger-bug bite me and I was out of control for a year before taking my gaze and forcing it back to yoga and meditation. I was able neutralized this unbalance, but discovered what REAL hatred felt like – I had come back and I saw all life as so very sacred and precious. I also realized that I hadn’t known this type of sacred feeling towards life before all this had taken place.

I soon ran into the Magical Egypt series by John Anthony West and I watched through the whole of the series until I came to the last episode. My heart sank when I saw the symbol that the Dogon used for String Theory. I had seen this exact symbol a year before in a dream I had while visiting at my ex-girlfriend’s grandmother’s home in Bear Valley California. During this visit I had several other dreams of UFO activity & Stargate-like portals. I believe this time somehow set me on a path for this new energy, and this energy has never left me.

Since this point in my life I have dedicated my soul and being to helping humanity grow spiritually through health & well being. I have created an organization called “Health & Economics of America” where I have helped many hands-full of people cure many things from migraine headaches to weight issues and cancer. I have even helped manifest a heart for a man that urgently needed one before his own heart failed. I now constantly research new ways to cure and heal, and to help people gain wealth and happiness. This has added to my unending love and appreciation that I now have for life and for all those that walk through it.

I have taken side with the light, and see those on the other side not as enemies that need to be squashed, only because I was one of them. I know what really resides in their hearts and I shall not judge the path that others take because of what I have learned from my own experiences. Deep, deep appreciation comes from within me and that is why I do what I do now. I’m 25 years old now and am so very excited to see what is to come during this life. I continue now to expose information on a grander scale to the public and I wish to see our grand awakening take place within the next several years. Love and grace is how I travel now, and although it seems I still attract situations to myself where I take damage through my own physical health, I realize that my path is set to learn these lessons through myself, and rise above them. This is so that when I teach other people to truly become free from anything that mis-aligns them, it is by my experiences that I can truly say I was there, and that they should have no fear. Anything is possible if you believe you can have what you want, and this is where my current spiritual path comes from.

If I had a theme song, I’d say Amazing Grace would fit.

You can find Nathan here:

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