Posts Tagged ‘free-will’

Just in…

October 25, 2010

*Ron Gasparri*, founder of MSI – Modern Scientific Illuminism, colleague, co-conspirator and friend has been so kind and generous to have written and posted a terribly good review for the book “Dreams of the Magus – Where Angels Fear to Tread.” It is as follows –

***********

Indirect Prose, Profoundly Enlightening, Esoteric & Kabbalistic Revelation

“Some books are well-written. Some books have relevant information. Some books are filed with grand, meaningless rhetoric. G. Peter Madstone’s “Dreams of the Magus” is well-written, contains relevant information and has meaning throughout its easily readable, flowing style that is reminiscent of Robert Anton Wilson’s style, as found in his masterpiece, “Quantum Psychology.” Before I go on, I have to proudly disclose that Pete is a good friend of mine and rather than assume that would skew this review in a positive direction, it actually made me read it with a more critical eye. That’s the point; as near and dear as the Western Esoteric Tradition is to me, I would never actively promote anything that claims to be a device for illumination that didn’t provide any light at all.

I read “Dreams of the Magus” in one sitting and that’s how I recommend everyone reads it. There are obvious Kabbalistic allusions throughout this book and in this context, both the new aspirant and seasoned Esotericist alike will appreciate, and receive. Many have the perception that Magick is just something that Harry Potter does with his wand in hand. After reading this book, not only will that misconception be erased, it will be exceedingly clear that there is far less “hocus pocus” involved at all. The overall implication I took away from this lucid, well written guide is that Magick is a lifestyle that empowers one to take responsibility for every aspect of his or her life. It is a proactive approach that leaves Chaos as little room as possible to meddle, and that is not paranormal at all. That shouldn’t diminish the importance of active ritual, but it should put it in context. Universal energy made use of to manifest a desired reality works best when one ensures it can augment self under the best possible conditions.

There a few typos that made into the final draft, but they do nothing to take away from the value of this guide that should be in every serious student’s collection.”

************

Added to this review comes another 5 star rating! Of course, as author of this book, I will take a shameless moment to also blow the same horn. This is an extremely valuable book which can benefit anyone who reads it in some unimaginable ways. That’s it…

You can buy this book anywhere online or order it from you local independent booksellers if you prefer to support the  smaller entrepreneurial spirits that drive our culture in non-homogenized ways. For now, here’s a link to my Amazon book page –

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1449547419/

My “First” Enlightenment

August 30, 2010

Many, many years ago…

So long ago it seems as if it is a past life. So many chapters in my life have been read, re-read, read again and forgotten. This is one of those chapters in my life that I forgot existed. You might expect that the moment of one’s enlightenment would be never forgotten, but remembering such a moment is contrary that moment’s essence, and its life is lost in the annals of a memory replayed over and over. I had never re-read this chapter in my life (like I have so many others), but I stumbled upon it this morning while doing some preliminary plastering on my home’s exterior.

And so it begins –

I find myself sitting at the feet of a nameless master. But wait, I must step back a bit to explain how I got here.

I have always sought the most serious answers to life’s puzzling questions – serious answers to this joke we call life, and so, before entering college I decided to go to India to seek out those who knew. I travelled the countryside for months. I had meditated and sat satsang with yogis, sages and fakirs. I had seen it all, and yet still had not found what I was looking for.

I spent weeks at an Ashram waiting for Sai Baba to appear, hopeful that this God could answer my questions. When he arrived, I was granted private audience with him. While he explained to me that he was not the one for me, he said the One was calling and that I must go back on the road. I must continue my journey. Before I left, and in the typical nature of wise ones, Sai Baba muttered something so cryptic (I was rather young and naive) to me that had me wondering as I walked out the door, “Is this God bisexual?” This, in and of itself held no import to me whatsoever, as I had met bisexual Gods before, I just never quite understood them. Gods and men all have choices to make, and it is far from me to judge another. I later learned that this God has controversy follow him like flies follow un-showered Frenchmen (of which there are many – flies and un-showered Frenchmen).

I encountered Babaji some weeks later, and he, too, said he was not the one. I had to ask him in reply, “If all are one, how can you  not be the one?”

He smiled some cryptic smile as his sparkling eyes bored deep into my soul and I ended up with the biggest headache I ever had. He told me to go to the Ganges and bath so I would be clean for my meeting with the one True One. I went to the Ganges, high in the foothills of northern India, and bathed in the holiest of earthy waters. I ended up with dysentery.

After this, I continued on my journey, asking many where I might find the one. People would say, “Ahhh, you seek the Silent One! Continue on your path, young man – he awaits you.”

Weeks had passed as the blisters on my feet grew into slathering, oozing , puss-filled monstrosities fusing with the cotton fibers of my socks. Weeks of doubts, wishes to be elsewhere, hunger I had never known, and sights to behold unfolded before me. I knew I would soon be dead if I could not find the One.

One morning I entered a small village ready to give up on my dreams of understanding all there was to be understood. I asked an old man about the One. He pointed. There was a door. I went through the door. My eyes fell upon a not so unusual sight of a man in robes meditating on a cushion. Could this be the One I sought? Could this be the One that awaited me – that One who knew I was coming to see him? I sat down silently before him and waited.

Silence.

Hours pass – he begins to snore.

More hours pass – he stirs.

A little movement under the folds of cloth that covered this wise one, and some low moaning begins. Chanting, or maybe only the response of one whose legs are stiff from having not moved from the typically uncomfortable full-lotus position?

I could take it no longer, and so I spoke as this moaning (chanting?) continued getting louder. I asked expectantly and abruptly, “Are you the One I seek?”

His reply?

“Shhhh…. I am Master Bei Ting.”

I knew I had found the One.

Variations on a Dream

July 28, 2010

   */RonGasparri\* Speaks/*

If ever there was a man who has done so much and yet not enough, it would be   */RonGasparri\*. While many others would be happy to just rest themselves on their past accomplishments, Ron would say he has barely just begun – only because so much still remains unfinished.

During the years of the first Gulf War, it quickly became apparent to Ron’s superiors that he was no ordinary jarhead. He was quickly (and appropriately) inducted into the world of military intelligence and soon after began his association with the various lodges and fraternal orders — this did , of course, provide certain advantages for him professionally. Within a few short years, Ron found himself wearing the apron of a 32° Scottish Rite Freemason.

He has also been awarded various, respected positions in other fraternal groups and lodges including being:

– Elected Monarch of the Effendi Grotto
– Knighted by Knights of Pythias
– Knighted by Priory of Knights Templar

After all this, Ron’s true passion for the mysterious and occult dominated any other desire (other than being a good father), and he dove into the somewhat obscure arenas of Enochian and Ogdoadic Magicks. Eastern Indian and Tibetan practices and disciplines have also found a home in Ron’s life.

 

He now continues his path by stepping up and sharing a small piece of himself with us today.

___________________

 Variations on a Dream

My heart is racing, the sweat runs down my face and the fear I feel inside is overwhelming. They are coming for me. They’re going to find me and I am going to go to some god-forbidden jail or receive some type of sadistic punishment that enslaves my mind and arrests my development. I need to keep moving and I do. Lockers line both sides of the hallways. The breaks between the rows of lockers are filled with doors that lead to classrooms of various sizes. Some are exits, and I need an exit… now. Past another row, another door, and then a backlit exit-sign appears, but I instinctively know that this door leads to the auditorium.

I have no time to second-guess myself—I see that the two plain clothed security personnel are gaining on me. This time, one of the teachers is with them and he knows exactly who I am. He’s the one that discovered my true age and identity. He has to be the one; he was one of my teachers when I was here the first time. In the door I go, and—what the fuck is this? It’s a slide, an inflatable slide that leads right out to the front of the building. It looks like a huge version of those emergency slides that are used by aircraft after they make emergency landings, except this one is really wide, sectioned into ten or so rows and it’s black with white stitching. This doesn’t seem normal, but it is something I must navigate if I am to save my life and be free again.

Now, I just need to get to the top of the slide, slide down it, and freedom shall be mine. I run down the center row, between two large areas of movie-theater style chairs aimed at the stage, arranged in the typical descending fashion. If this weren’t a high school auditorium, it would be a very posh theater. There are about five stairs that flank both sides of the stage and just as I decide to go up the left side’s stairs, I hear the doors open behind and above me—they enter and yell “Stop!” Yeah, right. Why would I stop for someone who doesn’t have my best interests in mind? Why would I listen to any other man, anyway? I run to the very top of the immense slide, throw my books down first (I don’t want them to slow my descent) and down I go. It feels like the “Moon Room” inflatable amusement area those neighborhood churches and social organizations would set-up during fund raising events. I’m down, and quickly out of the building.

Why do I not feel free? Where is that sense of relief I expected? Why am I not elated? I see a yellow school bus pull up just in front of the gymnasium complex, and I notice that my friends are getting on, well, the guys, anyway and they are all dressed in their football uniforms. A rear bus window opens and a close friend yells, “Ron. Come on, Man. You’re gonna be late!” I am going to be late and I may very well miss the game, too. In fact, now that the administrators know who I am, I may never get to finish the football season. Now there are two things I will not finish and the feeling of doom overwhelms me, but I have to try.

As I run along the sidewalk, the bus pulls away from the entrance and as I take another fast stride, I find myself between two parallel bars, both are greased beyond belief and there is nothing beneath me. I have no idea where or why this obstacle appeared before me, but it did and now the real fear sets-in. Whoever did this to me knows that ever since the fall, I have had a paralyzing fear of heights and of falling again. I navigate the parallel bars and jump off them, back on to the sidewalk. I realize that these bars had replaced a bridge that used to be located in the same area. The bus is only about a half of a city block ahead of me and I have to get on it.

Suddenly, I awaken to the sound of the night and the sound that my sweat makes when it rolls down the side of my head.

__________________

There are turning points in everyone’s lives. There are major decisions that we make when we are too young to know anything about future repercussions, both personal and intra-personal. I made a decision when I was sixteen and that decision has affected every facet of my life since. Some say that it has all worked out well and that things just took a little longer to “gel” for me because of it. Bullshit. I know the truth. That decision still haunts me to this day and impacts me still. Nothing has worked out the way I wanted things to work out because of this decision. Sure, there is an element of shame, of guilt, but the real feelings underlying that fateful decision are regret and anger. I regret dropping out of high school to join the Marine Corps. I am angry that nobody tried to talk to me about the unlimited field of other options that were accessible and tangible. The excuse I heard was, “We could have told you nothing that would have changed your mind,” but I know that’s a bunch of crap.

Over time, I have come to terms with myself and this decision, but apparently not completely. Over time, I have forgiven myself and have been able to allow myself to be proud of being a Marine, but maybe that’s bullshit too. All combat Marines live with a burden unlike any other and we generally don’t do well once we’re outside the Marine Corps environment. Had I not panicked back then when my girlfriend informed me that she was pregnant, I would have been on the road I am on now, only ten years ago, and that means more than you can imagine. The reasons are selfish ones and I get that, too. All I needed and wanted was someone to tell me that waiting 24 hours before making a major decision really is OK, that answers sometimes don’t come immediately, and that impulsive action works only about 10% of the time.

So, tonight when I sleep again, I wonder if the “High School Principal” of my former high school will try to find out why, at my age and with my college degrees, I am still trying to pass myself off as a high school student (and trying to get a diploma I obviously don’t need). I wonder if I will ever catch the school bus that used to drive the football team to its games and get to play another varsity year of high school football again. I wonder if having graduated high school means as much to my former classmates as it would have meant to me. I wonder if, when I make my next major decision in life, I will allow myself 24 hours to think: just to make sure I have explored other options. I do know one thing: I was too young to make such an important decision as to drop out of high school so I could provide for my child. This was a decision made too fast.

You can learn more about Ron and yourself in the following places:

MSI – Modern Scientific Illuminism

MSI Facebook

 

 

The Golden Flower and the Next Step

June 4, 2010

I have just extended Thoughts and the Golden Flower, including a discussion on the substance of thought, and the next step that would be taken in this practice that I refer to the Golden Flower method of self-discipline.

Some might say that this is where I depart from the original practice, but I have never been good at dogma anyway. If, for those who are still satisfied with my interpretation of turning the light around, there is some disagreement , it would have to be on my attitude and philosophy of the practice itself.

Of course this could be said about my attitudes and philosophies in regards to traditional dogmas and doctrines in ALL arenas of thought and religion. Don’t get me wrong — I love ALL religions of the world, and have studied them for all of my adult life. It is only when piety prevents growth that I move on.

You see, we are different today than we have ever been, and our evolution is quickly delivering us to a place that requires LIFE be injected into our realities for us to survive. If, even from “Joe the Plumber’s” point-of-view, we can justify a lack of change and growth by spouting rhetoric that our beliefs ARE alive, then I would have to challenge this, as well.

And so, my apologies go out to those who feel I am incorrigible and irreverent for my perspectives, but these will not be swayed by the status-quo. My apologies are also fairly shallow, for I cannot be responsible for the way you feel, even if you are disturbed by the things I say…

Anyway, all is in perspective with the power of true spirit and the mind of the human being who chooses to challenge themselves and all that is around them. If I had a hat, it would be off to you.

View Thoughts and the Golden Flower here

Shiva and the Misty Shores of Maya

May 28, 2010

Let’s consider Shiva just a little more deeply. I have mentioned that Shiva is most obviously entangled in “Karma” (the wheel of death and eventual rebirth – the ultimate reclamation and re-assembly) and specifically dissolution. This relates Shiva (for us westerners) to Saturn as the Lord of Karma and also to time (Chronos) itself, for when something doesn’t experience time, something does not, or cannot age. Things do not dissolve where time does not exist.

It is taught by many disciplines that this “Karma” can be transcended — that we can remove ourselves from this vicious cycle of unconscious birth and rebirth, time after time after time. To go into details, again, would take more than the space a blog posting would permit, but to put things most simply, this is done by removing oneself from time itself, while appearing to remain in a world where time reigns. In my book “Dreams of the Magus” I discuss time and related concepts more deeply, but can say here that time is the result of light passing through and around a gravitational field, i.e. physical matter.

We all know stories of “enlightened beings” from our past who have been able to display skills such as levitation, bi-location, healing of dis-ease and substance transmutation and multiplication. These are those who have transcended the phenomena of time, and therefore Karma — but where have these masters gone? Did they ascend into the reality/myth of the “light body”, and if so, was there evidence that they had actually existed (e.g. a dead corpse in place of what once was)? Was this body mummified for posterity’s sake, or burnt on a pyre reserved for those who have moved on from this miserable place of existence? Would this sort of thing mean that in spite of a master’s transcendence, the body still would die? Has one such as this actually removed themselves from the effects of time while still having their body feel the ravages of this same time that no longer influences them?

It is important to say that, even while these questions of skepticism are healthy, it IS all moot, for whether the body dies or not, we continue on, whether consciously or unconsciously. It is in this body and this physical world that we change our paths — it is here that we awaken, and nowhere else. Then the body matters not. It truly becomes irrelevant to our true existence, but all the while remains while it serves its simple purpose as a vehicle. It is, after all, importance that is transcended.

So, do we remain subservient in Shiva’s realm until we release the physical form (or its importance and attached identity)? If spiritual transcendence  is beyond our “capacity,” then Brahma  rebirths us and the three remain, doing as they do while we stumble on, oblivious to their existence in this world of appearances. There is a place where Shiva is the destroyer, but in a larger sense he is the creator, influential and powerful. There is a place where Shiva, Vishnu, Brahma  and we are one — we are partners in this triumvirate creative process. This place is forever touching our skin and passing through us, and the games of the gods affect us differently, for now we understand that this is not a game.

We CAN remove ourselves from time and Karma in this physical life and become one with the gods, for this is the only place it can be done, otherwise we pass into obscurity and unconscious rebirth once again. We can free ourselves from this moment in time and decide when, in choice and consciousness, we want to be one in the realm of Shiva .

Meanwhile, in part, I remain a killer, a destroyer, in order to allow creation to flower and fruit in its fullest expression, and again I will choose to land upon the beautiful and misty shores of Maya to walk with a friend, kill aphids, and again, it will be BY CHOICE.

 


%d bloggers like this: